From Peter Pan to Puer Aeternus: The Eternal Child in Us
Since the 1900s, a growing trend has emerged: the trend toward eternal youth. This trend falls within the realm of the archetypal "puer aeternus." The Latin term is composed of "Puer" for boy and "Aeternus" for eternity and was popularized by the Swiss psychoanalyst Carl Jung.
However, the words themselves originate from a poem titled "Metamorphoses" by the poet Ovid. In literature, "Puer Aeternus" is considered a kind of child god associated with the goddess of vegetation. This already reveals a positive quality of "Puer" as he symbolizes vitality, creativity, and freshness.
In contemporary times, the behavior of "Puer" is also known as the "Peter Pan syndrome," which already points to the potential issue of "Puer Aeternus": the inability or unwillingness to grow up.
ARCHETYPES
Before delving deeper into the archetypes, it's important to develop a fundamental understanding of them. Archetypes are timeless patterns of behavior, feelings, and values deeply rooted in our nature. They exist in a realm not constrained by time or space. As a result, the same archetypal structures can be found in all cultures and generations. Archetypes manifest themselves in literature, mythology, and modern culture, exerting a profound influence on us.
When you watch a great film, listen to certain music, or contemplate art, there's an energy released that can evoke a particular sense of vitality within you. This is often an indicator of the presence of an archetype. Similarly, you may find yourself under the sway of an archetype when you exhibit behaviors seemingly unbounded by limits, often referred to as the "hungry spirit." Another classic example is moments of unwavering determination, where the Warrior archetype is readily identifiable.
Archetypes are diverse and inexhaustible. It's up to us to name them, but their structures are rooted in nature. Therefore, archetypes should not be seen as human inventions but as natural phenomena to which we attempt to give names. It's essential to note that the boundaries between different archetypes are fluid. The observed dynamics may belong to specific archetypes but aren't necessarily confined to them.
DIFFERENT TYPES OF THE PUER
Returning to the Puer Aeternus, it appears that there are different manifestations of the Puer Aeternus:
The Adventurer: This type seeks pleasure and adrenaline, leads an impulsive life, and refuses to commit to obligations that could limit their freedom. They are often admired by others for having the courage to do things that others wouldn't dare or allow. It seems like they fully enjoy life and find a certain fulfillment in it. However, behind the scenes, one may eventually recognize the inner emptiness. What might have been necessary for personal development in their 20s could become outdated in their 30s. Life and life experiences may push them in a new direction.
The Recluse: This Puer Aeternus withdraws completely and primarily lives in the digital world. They experience their adventures through video games and long for the days of childhood. Passivity dominates their life, they spend an excessive amount of time at home, and maintain an unhealthy lifestyle. Similar to the adventurous type, they avoid any responsibilities, while their activities offer convenience. It's possible that this type may still be living with their parents in their 30s.
Provisional LIFE
Both of these types, however, lead a provisional life. They have ideas of a better future but take no steps in that direction.
Quoting C.G. Jung: "He is never anything but a wish and a hope." This illustrates that the Puer doesn't live real life but is trapped in a state where they prefer fantasy over reality. They constantly entertain thoughts like "What if..." and hope that things will work themselves out over time. They live in a chronic state of waiting, and a belief in time prevents abrupt changes. The idea that "with time, the problem will solve itself without me lifting a finger" is obstructive and must be overcome by the Puer to bring about changes in their life.
Another common tactic that many Pueri Aeterni employ is believing that the implementation of their ideas is merely an intellectual exercise. They have clear ideas about how their ideas could be realized, but when it comes to actually translating them into reality, suddenly, nothing seems to happen. They have a well-thought-out plan, are enthusiastic, but in the end, they deceive themselves and those around them.
However, we need to broaden our perspective. From the outside, the Puer may appear as a mature man. He might have a well-paying job, a family, and a house. Nevertheless, he may have chosen his job because it was the right decision at an earlier time. But then, the situation changes, and he feels that his inspiration is directed towards a different goal. Out of convenience and fear of losing the perceived security, he sticks with his old job. In these moments, he suppresses the inner voice that calls him to something else. Like the other Puer, he dreams of countless possibilities, but he remains in stagnation. Over time, this leads to a silent despair that gradually dominates his mood.
Another typical trait of the Puer is projecting his mother figure onto his partner. Jung once said about such a man: "He curled up in his crib like a nice little puppy and never moved again." The chosen partner is often a dominant woman who devours the man. On one hand, the woman complains about the man's inaction and impotence, but when he tries to unfold, he is prevented from doing so. This pattern is also found in the archetypes of the Devouring Mother, which we will learn more about later.
The Puer lives in his fantasies. He by no means wants to give up the comfort of his current life. Although he makes plans and shares them with others, the implementation remains distant. He entangles himself in a web of pros and cons of his decisions and gets lost in a labyrinth of mental dead ends from which he cannot escape. This is often a philosophical question, much like a Koan, to which there is no rational answer. Brooding alone will not help. In such situations, the answer is not found in the rational analysis of facts but in following one's own curiosity.
INDIVIDUATION
When he doesn't take action, an inner resistance develops, which can lead to inner disharmony over time. Marie Louise von Franz speaks of a negative individuation. Individuation is a generative process of the psyche that gradually leads to the fusion of consciousness and the unconscious. This process brings together opposing forces and generates a sense of wholeness and fulfillment. This development occurs within our inner realm, whether we want it or not, as we are inseparably connected to it. It's a natural evolution and is often equated with self-realization. It's important to note that self-realization is often driven by the motivation of ego complexes – the desire to improve one's abilities and qualities to meet one's own and others' expectations. In contrast, individuation is a natural process driven by an objective part of the psyche. "Objective" in this context implies that it lies outside our daily agenda.
Negative individuation occurs when it happens against the will of the ego complex and is possibly suppressed. This creates tension that leads to self-destruction rather than contributing to generative personal development.
The hidden call of the Puer, in many cases, is for a life deeply rooted and transcending superficialities, a life filled with meaning.
"If you reject and don't accept it, then it grows against you because you're not in it, and then it's your own inner growth that kills you." - Marie-Louise von Franz
The Fear of The Puer
But what causes the resistance to accepting the call of a new life? Why does it seem so challenging for the Puer Aeternus to grow up?
One of the reasons lies in perception. The Puer perceives the masses, the average person, but often overlooks the uniqueness, depth, and special qualities hidden within the crowd. Nevertheless, this perception is not entirely inaccurate. There is a real risk of adopting unhealthy habits, the weight of everyday life, and the senselessness that often prevails in the masses as one's own.
This is something that can be recognized in cynical disillusionment. Life does not meet the expected expectations, and as a result, the spirit diminishes, life energy recedes, inspirations leave daily life, and the person becomes cynical. Where there may have been magical thinking before, the mood shifts to the exact opposite: complete rationalism and a detachment from the youthful spirit.
This raises an important question:
"How is it possible that people are expelled from the childlike paradise, where they are in close connection with their true nature, and eventually become completely disillusioned and cynical?" - Marie-Louise von Franz
Part of it is about joining the adults, but only in moderation. Excessive conformity and too much adulthood would result in becoming just another mass person, while complete avoidance would mean continuing to fall under the spell of the Puer Aeternus. Both extremes represent negative individuation. The generative approach, therefore, lies in finding balance.
In her book on the Puer Aeternus, Marie-Louise von Franz tells the story of a writer who seeks psychoanalytic treatment. After the treatment, the client reports:
"You have driven away my demons, but at the same time, you have also driven away my angels!" - Marie-Louise von Franz
This illustrates the risk of growing up and possibly the largely unconscious fear of the Puer.
The Archetype OF the devouring Mother
Why does someone fall under the spell of the Puer Aeternus?
The Puer Aeternus is the inner child in the adult who avoids growing up, taking responsibility, and facing life's challenges. Instead, it expects other people, often its parents, to solve all its problems.
This inner child primarily resides within the sphere of influence of its parents, with the Puer being particularly ensnared by maternal energy. Here, the reference is made to the archetype of the Mother.
In contrast, the archetype of the Father often represents the call to adulthood, the invitation to step out into the world. It embodies discipline and rigor. In the Rider-Waite Tarot deck, the Father is symbolized by the card of the Emperor, which represents a high authority figure and encourages discipline and self-control.
This card is associated with strong masculine energy and represents assertiveness, capability, and the ability to take control. The throne symbolizes stability and security, a solid foundation upon which a promising future can be built. This meaning stands in clear contrast to the Puer, as it embodies what is often lacking in the Puer's life.
We typically associate the mother with love, comfort, and trust since she gives us life, nourishes us, and protects us. On the other hand, the father guides us into the external world, while the mother is the retreat into our inner world, the world of fantasies and coziness. In the mother's embrace, we can completely let go. The qualities of the mother are found not only in the literal mother but primarily in everything that provides us with pleasure, distraction, and relaxation.
However, every archetype has its counterpart, and alongside the nurturing mother, there exists the devouring mother. This is often symbolically represented as a serpent. It embodies the quality of the mother who doesn't want to let go of her child because it would mean releasing a part of herself, which is a challenging process for any mother.
And here lies the problem of the eternal youth. He is in a position where he doesn't want to relinquish the care of the archetypal mother. He continually seeks this comfort, spending a significant portion of his time trying to recreate the feeling of the maternal womb. He wants to do nothing, avoid taking responsibility, and lead a purely hedonistic life. The influence of the devouring mother archetype figuratively castrates the youth, and he remains endlessly at home, with no woman being good enough for the mother. Under this influence, personal growth is impossible.
In extreme cases, it may seem like a man at the age of 40 still lives with his mother, has no job, plays video games, and doesn't engage with women. His inner world is dominated by comfort and a secret fear of the external world. It's a sad picture of a man.
Breaking the Curse
On one hand, we yearn for the life of the Puer, whether it's the cozy or the adventurous one. On the other hand, we strive to create deep relationships, take control of our lives, and build something. This duality is fundamental in life. There are always two opposing tendencies that we must accept and often hold the tension between the two poles to avoid leading a one-sided life that restricts the natural flow of our life force. Both poles bring important qualities: youthful curiosity and questioning, rebellious nature on one side, and responsibility, discipline, and the ability to turn plans into reality, even if they involve mundane tasks, on the other.
Marie-Louise von Franz said, "I have also found that a man, when he emerges from this kind of youth neurosis, then through work." Therefore, the Puer must summon discipline, but not necessarily the discipline of external constraints, rather the one that emerges from his inner authority. In psychology, this is referred to as the "Locus of Control," which represents a self-imposed discipline and self-awareness of having control over the course of life. This can be developed when the Puer finds something of great significance to him. This could also be referred to as an inner calling that holds profound meaning for him. However, this calling must first be discovered.
Initiation OF Pinnochio
He saves his father from the belly of a whale. What makes this significant is that it's his father, the archetype of the external life and authority, whom he rescues. In doing so, he not only saves his father but also brings his inner authority to consciousness. The symbolism here reflects something trapped in the depths of the sea. The sea can be considered a symbol of the unconscious, while the father represents authority. The whale represents something primitive and animalistic, symbolizing our tendency for comfort and pleasure, an archaic drive within the Puer that makes it difficult for him to connect with his inner authority, hidden in the regression of the unconscious (in the depths of the sea).
Pinocchio inside the whale, by Roberto Innocenti, 1988
The initiation that liberates him from the spell of the Puer occurs through a call of great significance - saving his father. In real life, something of profound importance happens that brings the Puer into adulthood. With a sense of deep meaning, the risk of slipping into a cynical life appears to be lower, as mentioned earlier, which is a danger in growing up. By connecting with meaning, one touches their inner world where they find life force, curiosity, and enthusiasm to live life to its fullest.
The Puer Aeternus undoubtedly represents an important facet of human psychology that reflects our pursuit of youth and immortality. It presents a complex challenge for personal development. The first and crucial step to break the spell of the Puer Aeternus is the conscious recognition of the patterns that govern our lives and the willingness to understand their impact on our inner and outer lives. Only when we are aware of these patterns do we create space for realignment and can begin to liberate ourselves from this provisional state. It is the beginning of a profound inner journey of self-discovery and the integration of various aspects of our self, ultimately leading us to savor the diversity of our lives.