Following my fascination to deepen my experience
Have you ever been so obsessed by an idea, activity, person, a story that you couldn’t stop thinking about it? Or maybe it is even more abstract than that. Maybe it is rather a quality that has a pull on you. This is the kind of fascination that is being explored in this post.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve been intrigued by dreams. In elementary school age, I had some dreams that still leave me wondering what they meant, why they came up during this time and where they came from. It is a mystery. And I’m still fascinated by this mystery.
But why? What am I looking for in all this? This question is not about dreams, it is rather about why the fascination.
Dismissing the purpose of fascination
Looking at what we feel fascinated by we easily fall into the trap of thinking about how this could be beneficial. We try to rationalize and try to find purpose in it. If our minds can’t find reasoning we dismiss it. We stop investing our focus in it.
We learn that early in life.
Schools, parents and/or culture condition us on what to be interested in (directly or indirectly). Breadless activities are quickly dispelled as they don’t offer an incentive in form of money, safety or contribution to the working of a state.
But what if our focus of interests is not necessarily what we want to utilize in order to make a living, maybe it has a different purpose.
I believe the purpose of fascination (the kind of fascination towards certain themes in life) is to nurture our soul and to direct our lives to something more important, at least for the soul’s agenda. Eventually, I’m convinced, it will also leave space for safety and contribution towards the community.
The object of fascination is just one step on our journey and we have to take the step to see the next step. The object of fascination is not the destination. It is a step of your inner and outer evolution.
Poverty of Fascination
In a life of a person, the poverty of fascination might show up in different ways.
This person might appear stagnant and almost mechanical, actions are based on rationality, and interests surround only topics that create some kind of result. To be productive and to get more is the only focus.
The absence of fascination brings a kind of paralysis & emptiness into the person’s life. An emptiness that could be filled by their potential and a paralysis that could be alchemized into energy.
Instead, the treatment that is being used is more pleasure, more money, more food, more things, more consumption and more dopamine hits.
The Mystery of fascination
The mystery of fascination is imprinted in the etymology. The word “fascination” comes from the Latin word "fascinare". It can be translated as "to enchant" and "to bewitch".
If we are in the grip of fascination, the step to getting obsessed with the object is not far away. We also don’t understand completely why we are so fascinated by it.
Therefore there is a kind of mystery.
It is like something puts a spell on us.
I find it intriguing that there is something inside of us that feels attracted by certain things without our interference. Whether I feel fascinated by it or not.
It's as if something lives inside me that has a mind of its own. I don't consciously choose what I'm drawn to, what inspires me, and what occupies me. Something unconscious directs my attention to these objects.
And most likely the same is true for everyone. We don't decide where we are drawn to, something deep inside us, something unconscious decides for us.
But what is it?
What decides what inspires and fascinates us?
Being enchanted or fascinated by something is a mystery, an invisible leash that is pulling us.
Fascination is the bridge to our psyche
If we are available we are pulled by the mystery into unknown spaces. We are curious and entering an unknown field that is at that moment still unconscious to us. We don’t have the awareness of what we might find there, how we might feel by engaging with it, or what the outcome will be.
Fascinations are therefore also part of the shadow field.
Following it is integrating the shadow. It is shadow work.
And in the shadow/unconscious, we not only have suppressed or forgotten content but also impulses that help us to grow in height and in-depth (check out my article on Without growing down I can’t grow up).
The object is for everyone a different one. So in the fascination, we find a projection of ourselves and that is something that can generate at least more self-knowledge if not even life-transforming events.
And that might be the objection not to do it. It might be the biggest fear for the person that experiences poverty of curiosity.
The fear that life will be transformed by entering the space that is filled with our fascination. They fear that they have to sacrifice comfort & status, and engage in areas where the outcome is uncertain.
In uncertainty, we might gain new self-knowledge and the cost of this knowledge is responsibility. We can’t unsee it.
This can create turbulences for a person, not knowing anymore what they suppose to do, who they are and if the environment is still suited for the new person they might be or becomes by following the call.
Therefore it is important that we have a stable ground, a healthy ego to be able to accept some degree of the unknown into our field and be able to integrate it.
“For some, they are very specific talents, callings, curiosities, but the “permission” to pursue them seems abridged at best and missing at worst” - James Hollis
Being a Fool
There is some kind of foolishness in it as well. We are walking into the unknown.
Into the realms that everyone is warning us not to go. Being a fool, is the archetype of each new beginning, being inexperienced, not knowing what to expect.
If our fascination brings us into the field of new practices or activities, we might be challenged to be the beginner, to fall and get up over and over again, to learn to walk. It comes with some naivety and a healthy stable ego can handle it.
An unstable ego might avoid it and walk the road back into familiar territory.
On the other end of the spectrum of outcomes are new depths and new heights. Fascination can help us to take the leap into the unknown and to be transformed into a more healthy, well-rounded individual.
Our fascinations are the gateway to getting to know us better and building a deep relationship with ourselves.
Behind it, is the opportunity to create an interesting and deeply meaningful existence. It helps us to not decline into a lifestyle that is filled with empty pleasures.
A symbolic representation of following your fascination. Being enchanted by an invisible force.
Rediscover lost fascinations
At the beginning of the post, I mentioned the fascination that I had in my childhood.
This same fascination is still present in my adult life.
And the fascination that you experienced as a child might be still there for you as well. The invitation is to activate your inner hunter that recognizes and follow the traces of fascination. You don’t have to know why you are doing it or what the end goal is. You just do it because there is something asking you to be traced.
Start by asking yourself:
What were you obsessed by as a child? It might be a story, a topic or a piece of art. Notice what still resonates and touches you. You might even want to rewatch or reread the story. Immerse yourself in it and start looking for similar traces in other fields of your life.
Where else in life do you experience similar traces?
What kind of traces is always coming up but you haven’t dared to follow?
While you reflect, remind yourself: don’t confuse your fascination with the destination. Follow it for its own sake.
Give yourself the opportunity to explore your interests even deeper. It is not about doing, or producing any outcome. You’re exploring your fascination for its own sake and this will bring you closer to your psyche.
“Sooner or later something seems to call us onto a particular path. You may remember this “something” as a signal moment in childhood when an urge out of nowhere, a fascination, a peculiar turn of events struck like an annunciation: This is what I must do, this is what I’ve got to have. This is who I am.” - James Hillman