Without growing down I can’t grow up

One of the great gifts of being in the Netherlands is that I’m able to spend some time with my two-year-old nephew before going back to Costa Rica. Obviously, he is not grown up, he is still down close to the ground, close to his soil and his roots. 

A few days ago I stumbled upon this quote by C.G. Jung:

“Without the depths, I do not have the heights”

and my brain created connections with the common idea of growing up, the idea that higher is better, climbing up in the career and so on. 

Almost everything in our society pointing upwards.  Not to honor spirit and consciousness, but rather to feed our own pride. 

Upwards is the way to go.

Downwards is rock bottom, be careful. 

As with everything, if we focus too much on one aspect of the polarity, we throw a shadow and this shadow will come through different manifestations. This is what is happening by focusing too much on growth. We throw a shadow and the shadow gets bigger and bigger the higher the building is. 

The manifestations of the shadow we see are many. These are, just to name a few, depression, suicide, addictions, lack of self-awareness, and loneliness. 

Lack of Roots

It also creates a lack of elders in our society. 

“Elders are disappearing all over our planet. Men that use to carry the eldership of the tribe or community are now alcoholic, in major depression, committing suicide, or on golf courses — or all the above.”

- The Role of Elders by Robert Moore.

We have people up in ruling positions who lack the understanding of the wisdom that is innate and wisdom that matured in our unconscious (e.g. intuition) to navigate critical times. We reduce everything by science and rationality and that doesn’t give space for spirit, for a knowing that is beyond numbers.    

People look up to them, giving away their responsibility, and looking to them to find guidance. That is a projection of the parent's role. 

That comes with comfort and at the same time, it doesn’t support growing up. 

Bill Plotkin, Ph.D., depth psychologist, wrote, in his book "The Journey of Soul Initiation" that the majority of western society is stuck in early adolescence and doesn’t mature fully. 

True maturity asks us to grow down, to descend and to branch out our roots instead of focusing on growing up.

A tall tree with shallow roots can still produce juicy fruits, but the wind can easily topple it. 

Being high in the sky makes us also prone to grandiosity. 

When we feel more powerful than we actually are. 

When we are inflated with an idea of ourselves that we don’t really embody and which we don’t get reflected back by other people. 

With this new perspective, we are also asked to look at ourselves instead of looking up to other people. We can no longer seek advice in society.

 As society brought a lack of introspection and focus on merely growth without depth.

Descending into the Underworld

Descending into the underworld can be slimy & dirty. 

And this is where we meet the core of ourselves and where we can bring up what creates change from the roots upwards. 

Deep structural and sustainable change requires that we start at the roots. 

It is not enough to trim the branches. 

To become strong, authentic and satisfied we have to go down. 

Here we find inspiration and the longings of our hearts. 

The nourishment that we receive through the minerals of the ground and helps us to grow. 

Let me throw in a story here: The story of the son of the greek goddess: Hera. Hephaestus didn't satisfy Hera and she threw him down to earth. Down on the ground, is where he became the god that created unusually beautiful & magical things. 

A beautiful reference to how being in the depth can invoke our creativity.

Prof. Erwin Lichtenegger from the Wurzelatlas /root atlas

In the spiritual world, there is the consensus that we have high vibrational emotions (like happiness, joy, excitement, and peace) and low vibrational emotions (for example fear, anger, shame, and frustration). 

So, guess what else we find in the underworld? 

We find what we are afraid of, we discover our suppressed anger, frustrations and guilt. 

These are opportunities for us to grow stronger and wiser.

It doesn’t mean that we have to revisit all our experiences that created our behaviors and emotions that from time to time overcome us. 

That is not required. 

Because if we become more aware, and more grounded in the present moment, we will notice how these experiences are still projected into our day-to-day life. The past is still alive. 

These moments of being triggered give us enough matter to explore and to alchemize into accepted and integrated parts. 

We don’t have to go far. 

Actually, we don’t have to walk at all to descend into the soil. 

We might believe that we need this big irruption to create depth, but that is not always required. 

Let me give you some examples of where we can enter the soil.

6 Ways to Deepen Life

Our daily triggers:

This is probably the most underrated space for personal growth (or rather personal depth ;)). It is not as glamorous, but it gives us constant opportunities to make our roots more resilient.

Since they are so fleeting, we might as well just move on and ignore the lesson they bring.

By doing so, we deny ourselves the opportunity to go deeper into the ground and to mature out of these complexes.

When a trigger comes up, we should stay with it, accept it and be present.

This will help us grow out of that trigger. 

Contemplation:

Take a book by one of your favorite mentors or inspirations, read it and contemplate it. Contemplation means you go inside of yourself, reflect on how the shared wisdom is reflected in your own life and how to apply it. 

Real contemplations transcend our intellect.

It makes it possible to be a felt experience instead of only being understood. 

Empty Space:

Not a physical space, but rather an inner space. A time without any distractions and to be only connected to your own nature and maybe the nature around you.

This is where we create space for the wisdom that comes from the depth of our being.

What we seek is seeking us and sometimes we just have to give it space to emerge.

Physical Resilience:

Pursuing physically challenging activities will bring us closer to what really creates strength: our roots. Physical demanding activities are not only physically grounding but also mentally grounding.

This can take many different shapes, a few of my favorites are working out, taking cold showers or an ice bath.

Best done with another person who can push you to the point you can’t anymore, but suddenly you find some source of will to move on. 

Working with a Therapist or Coach:

A good coach, and a good therapist will bring you sometimes down to your roots, in order for you to reach new heights.

Being alone up in our head can be a lonely place, in which it is easy to hide behind intellectual concepts and beliefs. Here we might avoid what we truly feel and what actually want to be brought to life. This is basically what my current 1:1 service is about, you can learn more about that here.

Barefoot Walking:

Since I live in Costa Rica, I walk more barefoot and when I’m in Europe or in the city I walk in barefoot shoes.

It just gives me a better feeling to be so close to the ground.

As important, it is a reminder for me to care for my soil and my roots. 

For maturity, to not become a degeneration and instead a pool of wisdom that helps us to thrive as an earth community we have to descend down. We have to take responsibility for our own lives, looking down at ourselves instead of looking up to what we commonly think is maturity. 

There is not much to see. 

There is more to see in your own inner world. 

There is only one way: living through our own soil and soul.