IT’S TIME TO COME BACK TO YOURSELF

Once you have found the center of the world, everything follows with more certainty, even in the midst of chaos.

The Journey of finding the world's center is a common theme in fiction.

It is a challenging and dangerous journey that requires bravery, skill and strong determination.

The reasons of such a journey are to discover hidden treasures, to unlock ancient wisdom or to find an infinite pool of energy.

The idea of traveling to the center of the world can be seen as a metaphor for finding the source of our psyche.

Some of us embark on such a journey, others decline the call and again others (consciously or unconsciously) believe they found the center outside of themselves.

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that we find the treasure we are seeking within ourselves and not outside of ourselves. Look at stories like The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, Siddharta by Herman Hesse, The Emperor's New Clothes or diverse religious writings like The Bhagavad Gita, The Bible (Luke 17:21) - "The kingdom of God is within you”, The Tao Te Ching, they all talk about it.

The underlying psychological function in this story is the one of projection. Projections refer to a psychological occurrence where we ascribe an idea, trait, or conflict to another person. This process requires two elements: light and an object. The light represents our awareness, while the object is what we perceive in the other person or idea (or what we project onto them). In order to project an object, we must possess it.

So whatever treasure we are projecting onto them is a part of ourselves.

I. Significance of the Symbolic Center

“We all walk in shoes that are too small for us” C. G. Jung

As in these stories, we project the treasures that are inside of us outside of us. So do we with our center. And the center is a powerful place. Take a moment to imagine standing in the center of a gigantic stadium, and you'll know what I mean. It is a gravitational point where everything is directed towards. It attracts energy and creates it.

Most of us have experienced some of this energy in our lives.

Perhaps within ourselves in moments when we felt at the right place at the right moment or we feel deep satisfaction in actions that we pursue. Not a satisfaction that wants to scream out to the world how good you are, but rather a quiet and confident voice that knows you are doing the right thing.

This energy is fully expressed when we are able to keep our cool when everybody else is losing theirs. In these moments this is the energy of calm and reassurance.

Or, we experienced centeredness in someone else. Someone whom we sense is worthy of our trust. Their actions are in harmony with their words and their nervous system is radiating calm and safety. Who comes to your mind? It might be an important person that can inspire something within you.

Tapping into this axis has nothing to do with the need to fill gaps in the ego or to compensate for our complexes. Seeking the axis is something instinctual. It creates a sense of order, stability and structure in a complex and chaotic world. Something that we naturally crave.

Clarity, confidence, compassion, determination, connection, harmony, presence, and discipline are all traits that we will find when we are centered in our being.

Experiencing life from our central axis we will have an awareness of the different realms that we live in.

We will experience the duality of life more vividly and our own contradictions.

We experience the world that shaped us and we perceive the innate world within us.

We have awareness for our mind, our body and material that swaps out of our unconscious.

Living from this place means standing consciously in both dimensions, the world of logic and the world of spirit.

If we can hold both in ourselves, we are in the center.

And for the rational skeptics: there is more to life than what we can measure, we are spiritual being in human flesh.

The realization of the unknown world, the spiritual or the irrational comes with the first glimpses of being located in the center and having enough awareness of the subtleties of our inner and outer world.

Being centered comes with clarity and determination.

As we get more access to our axis we also maintain clarity about the vision and purpose we have for our life.

This might come with new priorities, which may be quite different than when a center from outside of you was in charge. Having clarity will help us to be determined about our actions and into which direction we are moving.

It comes with a new way of moving towards our goals, as they are deeply rooted in your own world and not in the world of expectations, doubts, and false self-beliefs.

II. This is How I Lost Myself. Again.

I thought I had to do the “thing”, looking at other people and how they were doing “things” - people that I admire. They did the "thing” in a specific way, expressed themselves in a certain way, and joined particular programs, etc. So I thought this might be my way as well, and I joined them.

After being on this path for a while, I suddenly noticed that it was not my path. What a paradox: I got lost on my way to myself. I don't know how many times this has happened in my life, but I guess I'm not the only one.

I had to find my way back to my center, because the center is the only orientation point I have. From the center, I can pivot and have a better view. I can see things that belong to me and things that don't. From the center, I can start sketching a route again and continue my journey from where I got sidetracked, until I get lost again.

But luckily, I know at least where the center is and how to get back to it - oftentimes with just a second of mindfulness or other times with a bit more patience, surrender, and practice.

III. Symptoms of a Lost Center

So many people don’t know where their center is, let alone how to get back there. They walked so far away from their center, focusing on another person's center that they lose the connection to their core.

Many people don’t know what their deep-rooted desires, vision and callings are. They follow a specific path because of the conviction of other people who took a similar path. This is often a safe way to get lost.

As young children, we all live in our center and from it.

And then, we lose it.

As I said at the beginning: Some of us embark on the journey to discover the center again, others decline the call and again others (consciously or unconsciously) believe they found the center outside of themselves in religion, in a specific job, in distractions, you name it.

By projecting one's center onto external sources we lose touch with our own axis. We might believe we found the anchor, but this one is not ours.

And others don’t find a center at all. Just imagine the confusion one experiences when they don’t have the center as an orientation. It will create a lack of sense of direction, order and values.

Both groups run the risk of being in action that is not aligned with who they are.

Boundaries are crossed, and principles are ignored.

They say “yes” to things even though their whole body is saying “no”.

They might struggle to be motivated, to feel connected and sadly lose connection to something that is bigger them themselves.

The person who is outside of the center is very sensitive to criticism.

The slightest criticism will make them feel weak and deflated.

On the other hand, too many compliments might inflate them. They might internalize a grandiosity that is not reflected in the outside world.

They are hungry ghosts, never really satisfied, and always wanting more: “Look at me”, “praise me”, and “give me more”.

And that doesn’t mean that when we are in the center, the voices of despair, fear, and doubts do not come up anymore. Rather, we become more aware of them and slowly, over time, outgrow them.

IV. Guiding Principles for Locating our Center

From time to time, we might want to ask ourselves: Are we even leading ourselves from a place of alignment and centeredness, or are we being led by our distractions, numbing activities, and fears? If it is the latter, we are not in our center. It is our choice to reclaim the seat in the core of the psyche, to reclaim our responsibility and authority. This is the practice of self-leadership.

Being a leader of ourselves means that we want to show up in the best way possible for our inner life.

This includes navigating all the voices, contradictions, and different dimensions that are part of us.

It might not be an easy step.

Remember, the journey to the center of the world also requires bravery, skill, and strong determination.

But it creates greater freedom. So, the following will give you three guiding principles to locate your center.

Sidenote: Each of my blog posts includes some points that are supposed to help integrate the knowledge shared here. This is the part I always feel most reluctant to create, even though I know it can be incredibly helpful for the reader. My reluctance comes from my own experience that the points will not work for everyone, and the reductive nature of breaking down complex processes into a "how to heal trauma," "3 steps towards your purpose," or promises like "Change your life in 2 weeks." But there is a space for them; they resonate with a lot of people, create curiosity, and can be really supportive. That said, I want to set the disclaimer that the following principles should be taken with a grain of salt. They should give some inspiration, direction, and maybe even invoke some of your own wisdom.

Guiding Principle 1: Solitude

It doesn’t matter where you locate yourself on the spectrum of introversion and extroversion.

We all need this solitude.

We are faced with a choice:

Do we allow ourselves to become isolated from our center, or do we choose to isolate ourselves, not from the world per se, but from external ideas that might bring us out of the center?

We have to retreat, not necessarily for days, weeks or months but rather on a frequent basis, maybe even on a daily basis.

One of my mentors Bobby Klein said that “In retreat, you will find purification. You will be able to think more clearly, love more freely, and regain the mantle of self-confidence and those longed-for feelings of inner peace.”

What sparks from this quote is how similar the qualities are to the qualities of centeredness. Qualities that arise in silence and when we are anchored in our center.

**Guiding Principle 2: Inner Work**

Inner work can take many forms.
The easiest way to start is by journaling, but not just about anything - focus on your inner experiences. This can help you develop a deeper relationship with yourself, and instead of over-identifying with your thoughts, feelings, and beliefs, you simply observe how they flow onto the paper.
You become the observer of everything that surrounds you, both externally and internally.
Engaging in daily activities that connect us with our inner world can be immensely beneficial for gaining self-knowledge, learning about our inner map, and understanding the different dynamics that drive us.
Other ways to do inner work include meditation, breathwork, dream work, coaching, and therapy.
**All these modalities can help us to detach from the noise and return to our center.**
Over time, unblending from distractions and re-centering ourselves will become easier and easier.
We will recognize when we are disconnected from our center, and through awareness and sometimes action, we can bring ourselves back to it.

Guiding Principle 3: Aligned Action

All the wisdom is just hot air if we don't go into action.

With the wisdom arising from the center, we are being asked to integrate.

Oftentimes, this is where the real work starts. To go into action we have to build trust in the insights that are coming from our central axis. So we take small steps, small actions, we observe how our life is affected by it and then we look for the next step.

Over time we will learn how to differentiate the voice of the center and the voice of others' centers, expectations and doubts.

By taking action we will quickly realize the significance of following this source. It will fill us with a sense of connection, meaning and inspiration. We are in the process of building a profound relationship to ourselves.

V. Let’s Wrap it up

The journey to find the center of the world, as a concept to find a psychological center, is a common theme in stories, and the underlying psychological function in these stories is projection. Often, we project the center that is inside of us outside of us. A center is a powerful place that creates and attracts energy, and it is where we find clarity, compassion, determination, and connection. Being centered comes with clarity and determination, and it allows us to see an infinite ocean of possibilities both inside and outside of us. However, we can lose our centeredness when we compare ourselves to others and follow their paths instead of our own. Ultimately, finding our center and staying true to ourselves is essential for living a fulfilling and purposeful life.